This Reddit Dad Moves in His Messy Family While His Pregnant Wife Is in the Hospital —Then Complains That She Doesn’t Clean up After Them
Sometimes men make ridiculous, spur-of-the-moment, what were you thinking?! decisions. That’s OK — we love them anyway! But other times, men double down in a way that is both inconsiderate and potentially harmful, which is never OK. This one dad on Reddit is the perfect example of a rude husband, and we totally feel for is pregnant wife.
In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a 26-year-old woman shared that she is four months pregnant with her and her husband’s first baby. They recently moved into a home, and the mom-to-be has been dealing with a “very hard” pregnancy with what she describes as “horrible morning sickness.” “It reached a really bad point where I passed out hit my head and my Dr admitted me to the hospital for a week,” she wrote.
While she was in the hospital — which, I’m sure, was scary and traumatic — her husband pulled his a—hole move. “When I got home my husband allowed his brothers family to move into 2 of our 3 bedrooms. (They were evicted i dont know why),” the pregnant mom said. She explained that one of the rooms was her office (rude!) and that the house was “a complete wreck.”
“Trash, dirty clothes, used diapers. I started to cry,” she went on, and yeah, I would too. And then probably start screaming.
She continued, “It was like a light flipped my husband was no longer the same. My husband told me it ‘wasn’t that bad’. My reply was ‘fine then you should have the house cleaned up before I wake up.’” Seriously. You invited this chaos into the home, you should take care of it, sir!
The pregnant wife went to take a four-hour nap (as she should!), and she woke up looking for water. Unfortunately, the husband didn’t clean, and there were no clean glasses to be found. “Every glass we own is scattered around the house,” she wrote, adding, “They didnt clean a single thing. I passive aggressively started to pick up the dirty dishes and washed them.”
The next day, she logs into work (although, again, she doesn’t have an office), and she finds it impossible to concentrate because “their kids were crying non stop. Banging on the walls so on.” She added, “Their mom was in her room for hours ignoring them.” It’s just so frustrating — and sad!
Then the husband has the audacity to blame the situation on his pregnant wife, who just got home from the hospital.
“When my husband came home. He was upset with me over how I didn’t make his brother’s wife feel welcome in our home,” she wrote. “By helping with their kids when she was tired. Then continued to complain how nothing was done while he was at work all day in the house. Yep the same one he didn’t clean.”
I’m surprised she was able to type this — I wouldn’t be able to see anything but red if I was the one telling this story. I’m boiling mad just reading about it. I can’t believe the way some people think they can treat others.
The wife stood her ground, though, telling her husband that his family needed to leave. “To which he replied they are his family and he won’t kick them out,” she said. “I started to cry again. I was beyond frustrated, exhausted, I physically couldnt do it anymore.”
Luckily, her mom and three older brothers came to the rescue! They came over and “took charge.” She wrote, “I was sent to bed. My brother’s started cleaning complaining loudly at how disgusting my BIL family is. Along with what a horrible husband my husband is for putting me through this while I am sick.” Good! For! Them! I’m so glad to see that she does have a loving, caring family on her side, even when her husband and his family are being so so awful.
Because her husband is extremely immature, he goes crying to his mom about the situation — which you know was skewed to favor him. This leads to an awkward confrontation between the pregnant wife and her mother-in-law. “I got a text message from my MIL for calling me an A for not helping my husband clean up the house and putting my BIL in a uncomfortable position by having my mom boss him around,” she said.
Basically everyone sided with OP on this one. “NTA 1000%.. but house guests in a shared home require TWO yesses and only one no,” one person wrote. “Both of you agree or it shouldn’t happen. Your husband has treated you abominably. I’m not sure I could deal with that honestly. Can you go stay w your mom?”
“I also don’t want to panic you but I need to add to the voices saying this kinda sounds like he’s showing his true colours now that he’s baby trapped you,” someone else wrote. “4 months is (in many places) too late to legally get an abortion, and most people would be too attached to the fetus at that point to abort even if it is legal where you are…This scenario would really have me rethinking the life I wanted to build with him though, it’s really concerning that this switch only flipped once you were that far along and had a high risk problem arise (which would increase your dependence on him). Please just keep yourself safe and remember that you deserve so much better than this treatment.”
“NTA. Your husband tho – wow,” said someone else. “Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. Damn – she’s sick, she’s pregnant with my baby, she just got out of the hospital – this seems like a good time to have rude, boorish houseguests for her to cook for and clean up after. Seriously, WTF? This was his time to show you that he’s got your back, he’s your support system. What does he do? Exactly the opposite of that. He increases your workload and decreases your comfort.”
One person said, “I mean this in the nicest way possible: please start prepping for divorce. Your husband moved in people to the home without consulting with you first. He is prioritizing their needs over the needs of his wife and unborn child.”
The mom later added an update, explaining that her mother-in-law decided to come over and “was super angry.” She wrote, “I could hear shouting but, couldn’t understand what was said. Once inside she was shocked. My house looked really bad. My BIL lied to her about what happened. My MIL quickly started to help my mom in the bossing mode. My house is not just cleaned but deep cleaned.”
It seems to have had a happy ending…mostly. “My BIL and his kids are now staying with MIL. She didn’t know about the eviction,” she wrote. “My in-laws helped them financially a couple of months ago. My MIL was not happy about it.” That’s all well and good for the brother-in-law and his family — but what about the extreme insensitivity and rudeness from her husband?! That man needs to go stay with his mom, too.
Everyone on Reddit seems to agree with one thing though: this pregnant mama has an amazing mom. “I think it’s safe to say your mom won the Internet today!!!!” one person said. “So many people on this sub have fallen in love with her, admire her, wish for a mom just like her, or straight up want to be her. Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy and I wish you every joy when baby comes.”
It’s so awesome that she has such an awesome role model and support system in her mom. She’s going to need it!
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.
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